Try-Out: Nyx Karasheno; Nocturnas [APPROVED]

[Ravilin Asura]

Try-out Role-Player: Nocturnas
Try-out Character's Name: Nyx Karasheno
Try-out Character's Race: Arrancar

[Nocturnas]

It was night-time in Las Nochas. Well, what passed for Night Time in the land of eternal darkness. Nyx was lying in his bed, his visor on the bedside table. If anyone glanced inside the room, he'd initially look like he was sleeping innocently. But, if you were one of the very few who would look closely, you'd notice beads of sweat falling down his brow. Inside his mind, he was having that same repeating nightmare that he'd had since he'd became an arrancar.

----------------------------

It was early evening, and the sunset was just starting to cover the horizon. The sky was pink with a dash of yellow in the clouds. Everything looked perfect, and indeed it seemed perfect. Nyx was dressed in knee high boots and his military uniform. His hair was nowhere near as neat as it would normally be, but he didn't care. In front of him, stood over 500 men. Each one dressed in smart, dark-blue military uniform, with their swords in their belts. These were his men, his glorious army. His Night's Rebellion.
"Men, we have fought for so long and lost so much. We have brought justice to those who would seek to be greedy and callous and to threaten the well-being of this once great country. The king is in his counting house, all snug and warm. But tonight is the night where that will all change. We have the power to bring the walls crumbling down around their heads. We are their worst dreams, made manifest. Tonight is the night when we finally bring down the regime. We are the night's rebellion, and we are not going to..." he was cut off by the sound of a cannon. Or rather, a lot of cannons. He didn't know when the enemy had arrived, but there was one thing he WAS sure of. That they were under attack.
"DISPERSE, FIND THE ATTACKERS, KILL THEM ALL!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------

"DISPERSE, FIND THE ATTACKERS, KILL THEM ALL!!!" Nyx cried out, obviously still lost in his nightmare. He'd curled up, obviously getting scared by what he was dreaming of. It was one of the reasons that he'd become the Arrancar of Vengeance, forced to watch his men being slaughtered all around him and not knowing what to do. He was supposedly a tactical genius, but what tactic in the damn world would allow you to survive being ripped apart by cannons that were too far away to attack without getting killed and had trapped you in a circle? There was no escape from that, only certain death. He knew this wasn't where he died, but it had only been a week before it. It hurt as much as it had then, watching his men die infront of his eyes. Many of them had been little more than boys who understood that the government was wrong, none of them had deserved to die. Unfortunately, he knew that his dream wouldn't end just yet

---------------------------------------

Time had seemed to jump forward a few hours. He was now with the last group of people, only around 100 left, and all having their swords drawn. The attackers had grouped together and were now pushing up the hill towards them. They were meeting with volley after volley of arrows, but there wasn't enough to slow them down. They were still coming. The cannons crashed and blasted, ripping apart the front lines of what remained of the resistance. There had been a reason why they had never taken the army on in a one-on-one battle. As good as they were, the resistance were always doomed to lose in such a battle. They had less men and worse weapons. As they knew they would, they were getting ripped apart. Finally, Nyx's second-in-command grabbed him by the collar
"General, this battle is lost. We have to retreat. There's no other option." Nyx nodded, and called out the order to retreat. Turning their tail and running, the resistance started fleeing from the battle. This was no deterrant to the onslaught however, as they were still ripped apart as they ran. Eventually, only Nyx and around five other men were still alive.

"Men, it's been an honor serving with you." Nyx said, to a general nod by his remaining men. Behind them lay a corpse straddled field, washed in the blood of the young boys who had had such a promising future ahead of them. A small tear threatened to well up behind Nyx's eyes as he stared death in the face, ready for a sword to end his life once and for all. However, it never came. The men that stood infront of him merely smiled cruelly, and put their blades to his throat. Around him, his men were getting the same treatment.
"Well, well, well if it isn't the infamous "Lord of the Night", Lord Nyx Karasheno himself. Well, I think the king would like a word with you, traitorous scum. But first, to deal with your little friends." The words took a second to register and his face was one of horror. Seeing his men die on the battlefield had been bad enough, but if he was right then they were about to be..... He was right. His men were killed one after another. He couldn't stop them, he couldn't help them, all he could do was stand there and watch. and watch. and watch. and watch

----------------------------------------

"NO!!!!!" Nyx screamed out, sitting upright in bed, the sweat completely covering his face now. He looked around and sighed a sigh of relief. He was home. Well, the closest that it came to home anyway. It seemed like everyone else was either still asleep or being especially quiet tonight. He figured that trying to sleep again would only result in seeing the nightmare again, so he might as well try and get some fresh air. Pulling on his usual uniform and slamming his visor over his eyes, he stood off the bed and walked down the corridor. Finally, he came to a door that led to a balcony that gave off quite a good view over the Hueco Mundo desert. As he walked through the door, he thanked the lord that he was alone. He hadn't had a chance to calm down properly after the nightmare. All he was glad for was the cold night air brushing against his face, washing away whatever sweat he hadn't already wiped off.

[Ravilin Asura]

Or so he thought he was alone. Ganny was used to people looking over her like she was never there to begin with. The blue eyes had merely flicked over to the Espada for a moment, before she cowed herself back into the corner in the shadows. Ravilin really didn't want to take the beating, too many people looked down on her for it. Slowly Ravi blinked noticing the stiffness that was through his body. "Onii-san? Did you have a nightmare? I'm sorry if you did Onii-san. They're never good." The fraccion whimpered softly to Nyx. Slowly her fingers fluttered to her thick locks of hair which she tugged on in a frightened manner. Ravilin was one of the kindest arrancar which was why she was perpetually finding herself tortured by her peers. The thought made the small girl freeze in spot with sadness showing in her eyes. Slowly she swallowed, moving from the darkness stepping into the moonlight. It showed the bright colour of her hair and eyes. Frantically the young woman back peddled from the espada fright showing in her eyes. She shouldn't be too close to them, dropping down to her knees the young woman closed her eyes tightly. "Sorry for interrupting you." Her voice cracked in fear as she went to make amends.

Rising to her feet quickly the small fraccion blinked before screwing her features up tightly for a moment like she was about to cry. Turning away quickly, Ravilin fled in terror of the Espada.

[Nocturnas]

Nyx stood on the balcony, when he heard the woman's voice
"Onii-san? Did you have a nightmare? I'm sorry if you did Onii-san, they're never good." Nyx almost jumped out of his skin with shock. Crap, where did he know this voice from? He couldn't let anyone else see him like this, he'd never told anyone about his nightmares. Looking cautiously over his shoulder, he saw a young, innocent-looking girl. He tried to remember her name, he was sure he'd seen here around somewhere. Ratichin? Ravimin? RAVILIN. He was about to turn around and tell her not to worry herself over him, when she apologized and ran. However, she clearly wasn't fast enough. Starting off at a running pace, Nyx quickly re-entered the building, chasing after Ravilin. It was clear that there was no malicious intent, but she could have been scared just by such a man following her.

Matching her speed down the corridor, Nyx smiled a light smile. It might have seemed extremely minor but it was the most he could muster at that moment.
"Heh, don't worry about me, girl. I've been around for over 800 years. If I was still scared by nightmares, I don't think they'd have welcomed me into the ranks of the arrancar, let alone the espada. I'm fine." He lied. Thankfully, he'd had plenty of experience in that department. Stepping up his speed again, he took the lead of Ravilin and stood in her path, stopping her from running. He put his hand out and patted her on the head, not really caring whether she wanted it or not.
"However, the one that I'm really worried about is you, meine Dame." he said, his austrian accent resurfacing for the first time in a few weeks. Not everyone in Las Nochas was that tolerant of differences, and he didn't want to have to kill anyone he didn't have to. But this girl, she seemed sweet and innocent enough not to give him a hard time about it
"To run from a man that you've only just met, and to be so utterly terrified of someone who hadn't even acted yet, merely because of what they are. Something tells me that you're not the most innocent of souls, Ja?"

[Ravilin Asura]

Try-out Profile Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 29/36

• General -Total: 10/12
  
• Thoroughness - 3/4
  
• Organization - 3/4
  
• Cleanliness - 4/4
  
  
• Character - Total: 9/12
  
• Originality and creativity - 4/6
  
• Character depth - 5/6
  
  
• Zanpakuto - Total: 8/12
  
• Originality and creativity - 3/6
  
• Zanpakuto depth - 5/6

Try-out Post Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 44/64

• Creativity - Total: 12/18
  
• Setting - 3/6
  
• Action scene - 4/6
  
• Character reaction -5/6
  
  
• Grammar and Sentence Structure - Total: 13/16
  
• Punctuation - 4/4
  
• Sentence structure - 4/4
  
• Readability - 5/8
  
  
• Storytelling Ability - Total: 3/4
  
  
• Flow and Overall Structure - Total: 6/8
  
• Post flow - 3/4
  
• Post organization - 3/4
  
  
• General Detail - Total: 10/18
  
• Setting detail - 3/6
  
• Character action detail - 3/6
  
• Character interaction detail and integrity - 4/6

Total: 73 P

Rank: Master +

[Ravilin Asura]

New Total 8000P

[Sponsored content]