Try-Out: Maes Tueur De-Versaille; Maes [APPROVED]

[Ravilin Asura]

• Try-out Role-Player: Maes
  
• Try-out Character's Name: Maes Tueur De-Versaille
  
• Try-out Character's Race: Shinigami

[Maes]

Morning had broken, like the first morning. Bluebirds had spoken, like the first word, or was that not the phrase anymore? Regardless, the sun's fiery head was just bursting over the top of the bustling city streets, and very few people were out yet. There were a few examples to the sheer emptiness of the street, but they hadn't seemed to notice each other yet. After all, why should they have seen each other? One was nothing more than scenery to the other, and the other was a spirit. More accurately, a Soul Reaper. Dressed from head-to-toe in his usual robe and bladed uniform, anyone who saw him couldn't help but feel frightened. Gone was the usual cheery demeanor behind his eyes, and his mouth (although hidden behind his mask) was as blank as an unwritten book. Only time would tell what his true actions would be.

_____________________________________

Far below, in one of the many houses, three men sat around a fire. The house itself was damaged and dirty, as if no-one had lived there for years. In fact, to a normal human, there would have been no signs that anyone had lived there at all. These particular three men all seemed scarred, both physically and mentally. However, there was one thing that distinguished themselves from anyone else. Next to each of them lay a blade, their zanpakuto. These men were traitor Soul Reapers, and were obviously still in a state of disarray. In truth, it had been less than a month since they had managed to escape the Soul Society and they hadn't been able to let their guard down once since then. But, even the most terrified had to go outside sometimes.
"I'll be right back," the tallest one of them said. His hair was a dark black and it fell over his eyes. His accent was obviously english and was distinct from almost any other soul Reaper in it's innocent quality. ", I want to go smoke."

As he walked outside, two black shadows appeared on the roof of the building. They watched over him as he left the house and closed the door behind him. the traitor pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and put it in his mouth. His hand went to his pocket, looking for a lighter. All it found was emptiness. Cursing his luck, he was about to turn around to go retrieve it from inside when a voice came out of nowhere. It seemed extremely masculine, but friendly at the same time
"Hey buddy, want a light?" The traitor jumped in shock. How did anyone see him. that could only mean that this was... THAT THIS WAS...

_________________________________________________

Back inside the house, the two men who were left heard what seemed like a cry of pain.
"Alex, are you okay?" one of them cried out, obviously frightened. However, if he was honest, the fear came from more of a fear of their location being compromised than fear of his "friend"s safety. However, his voice came back
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just burnt my hand on falling ash. Sorry to make you worry about me." With that, the door to the house reopened. Not assuming that anything was out of the ordinary, the men remained sat on their rears, around the fire. That was when the two silhouettes came around the corner.


One was a young man with short spiky hair and a long mask covering over half of his face. They were both dressed in obviously Soul Reaper uniforms, but one had the mark of a Vice-Captain around his arm and was holding a rapier pointed at the men in the room.
"Oh dear, it appears you were expecting someone else?" the voice came from behind the mask, but it sounded exactly like Alex's. They knew at once who it was.
"You pissed off the wrong division, kids. Surrender now and we'll only throw you before Central 46." His voice changed back to his regular, friendly tone. This was him, the fabled Vice-Captain of the Onmitsukido. Lieutenant Maes Tueur De-Versaille.

[Ravilin Asura]

"The fuck did you do with Alex?" The man barked with anger and fear lacing his voice. Assassins weren't easy to handle. How the hell were they going to get out of this mess? Slowly the man let out growl like noise, lunging forward. The movement allowed him to draw the sword quickly clashing it against Mae's own blade. He'd only die trying to flee. There was no way in hell he'd allow something to happen to his own hide. The eyes flashed beneath the mask as the man thought of a way to antagonize the other male. "What you're whore of a captain to busy screwing men so she sends you to come packing?" Her voice held a taunting note as he released his shikai which was a large claymore. The blade held enough weight behind it to send the man stumbling backwards. Glancing to his allies they all drew their own weapons understanding the fact that they would have to kill to get out of the situation they were now forced in.
"Shame, you don't even get to any of that tail?" Another one snickered realizing what they were going to do.
"Let me guess you don't have what it takes?" The pair seemed set on pissing Mae's off so he would lose control and give them the chance to kill him and be on their way.

[Maes]

Maes seemed to effortlessly keep his blade pressed against the other mans. even though he was only fighting with it one handedly. The other hand moved to his mask and pulled it down, revealing a smile.
"Oh, your friend was called Alex, hmm? Well, I'm sorry but he won't be joining you. He looked rather tired so I let him take a nap. Face down. In the dirt." He laughed rather joyfully and his smile broadened
"Essentially, what I'm trying to say is he's dead. Just like that little friend of yours STANDING BEHIND YOU!!" His spare hand went to his pocket and threw something small out of it without even seemingly aiming. The blade landed in the center of one of the men's foreheads, piercing the brain. Ripping it back with the chain, the man fell forward dead.


"Now, what was that about my captain? Oh yes, you were asking if she was too busy fucking men. Well, guess what?" His face fell into a mocking smile, as if he knew that the other man was just trying to piss him off, and it simply wasn't going to work
"She probably is. But if that's her will, then so be it. I am her servant, and her will made MANIFEST!" He slammed his foot into the back of the leg of his attacker, knocking him forwards and onto the ground. His hand holding his zanpakuto swung it around in a loop, before he released it
"Bring the storm, Tengokuto!" The entire chain lit up with a shimmering red light, sending crackles of electricity to the air around it. Finally the light died down and Tengokuto was re-revealed. The whip curled up before he cracked it against the man's chest, shooting crippling electricity through his body.
"Sorry mate, but you messed with the soul society. There's nothing more I can do but kill you." He slammed the sword out of the man's hand with his own, before dropping it and grabbing his face.

"However, seeing as you insulted Miss Kasumi, I'm going to enjoy this."

[Ravilin Asura]

Try-out Profile Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 28/36

• General -Total: 9/12
  
• Thoroughness - 3/4
  
• Organization - 3/4
  
• Cleanliness - 3/4
  
  
• Character - Total: 9/12
  
• Originality and creativity - 4/6
  
• Character depth - 5/6
  
  
• Zanpakuto - Total: 10/12
  
• Originality and creativity - 5/6
  
• Zanpakuto depth - 5/6

Try-out Post Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 41/64

• Creativity - Total: 10/18
  
• Setting - 2/6
  
• Action scene - 4/6
  
• Character reaction -4/6
  
  
• Grammar and Sentence Structure - Total: 13
  /16
  
• Punctuation - 4/4
  
• Sentence structure - 4/4
  
• Readability - 5/8
  
  
• Storytelling Ability - Total: 3/4
  
  
• Flow and Overall Structure - Total: 6/8
  
• Post flow - 3/4
  
• Post organization - 3/4
  
  
• General Detail - Total: 9/18
  
• Setting detail - 2/6
  
• Character action detail - 3/6
  
• Character interaction detail and integrity - 4/6

Total: 69

Rank: Master+

[Ravilin Asura]

New total: 7000P

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